Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Bermuda Triangle of Lost Small Parts

I’d like to submit this post to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Bermuda Triangle of Lost Small Parts, also known as Marty’s Home Day Care, is a region in the northwest area of Marty’s home (aka PDCA Primary Day Care Area/Kitchen/Family Room) in which a number of small toy parts for larger learning toys are alleged to have disappeared in mysterious circumstances which fall beyond the boundaries of human error, piracy, equipment failure or natural disasters. Popular culture has attributed some of these disappearances to the paranormal, a suspension of the laws of physics, or activity by extraterrestrial beings. PLEASE DO NOT SUGGEST THAT THESE MISSING SMALL PARTS ARE IN THE SAME PLACE(S) AS THE MISSING MITTENS OR SOCKS, I CHECKED THOSE SPOTS AND THEY ARE NOT THERE.

Innumerable reports of missing eating utensils, knives (serious cooking ones), scissors (kitchen and craft), tape, and multiple debit cards have been reported missing from this general area as well. Giving rise to the Remodeling Black Hole Theory that says any new space created by converting an area’s use to entirely a new use (in our case back yard to PDCA/Kitchen/Family Room) may open some kind of bizarre black hole in which common daily items may be consumed never to reappear again – where is the dog?!

The Day Care Proprietor's concern has recently peaked with the increase in the number of missing small parts not recovered immediately by an appointed search party (The Kids, or myself). What if "Lost Small Parts" becomes "Lost Small Children"? Don't check my "nursery" upstairs, they won't be there - and I've only been joking for the past 2 years when I say that I want more children.

While a substantial body of documentation exists showing numerous incidents to have been inaccurately reported or embellished by later authors, and numerous official agencies have gone on record as stating that the number and nature of disappearances is similar to any other area of ocean, there are incidents (see below) that remain unexplained despite considerable investigation.

List of Bermuda Triangle of Lost Small Parts incidents:
The 1st report of a lost small part was the semi-triangular STAR COOKIE COMPONENT from our Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Talking Cookie Shapes Tray. Initially it was thought that maybe Miss Bliss may have pirated it away one evening - as this was one of her favorite toys and certainly her preferred shape to the toy. After numerous search parties had been dispatched and re-dispatched, her father was questioned twice in this matter (Miss Bliss was non-verbal at the time) without charges being filed either time. The STAR COOKIE COMPONENT was found 6 months later magnetized to the underside of the refrigerator. Unfortunately, just a few weeks after, in total frustration over the missing STAR COMPONENT, the primary COOKIE TRAY COMPONENT had been thrown out by the Day Care Proprietor. The toy had been discontinued in its entirety by Fisher Price as well. The four shapes found their way to the front of the refrigerator and served as magnets for notes for approximately 12 more months until…

The 2nd report of a lost small part was the semi-triangular STAR COOKIE COMPONENT – AGAIN - from our Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Talking Cookie Shapes Tray which had been serving as a magnet on the fridge. Don’t ask us what the heck happened to it this time – we still do not know. The other 3 “cookie” pieces are on the fridge, holding down the fort, a melancholy reminder of a toy well loved and gone forever. Currently there is a whole Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Talking Cookie Shapes Tray on eBay up for auction (hint, hint).

The 3rd report of a lost small part is actually the occasional missing COINS to our Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Learning Piggy Bank. Naturally, with 10 COINS one (or even more) should be missing at all times – usually to surface at some point during deep cleaning on a weekend. We had 9 COINS for the most part, until the 10th COIN was recovered from under the pantry during the preparations for the new cork floor. As of this post, the SMALL YELLOW and the SMALL GREEN COINS are considered MIA.

The 4rd report of a lost small part occurred the week May 18th 2009. Search parties were dispatched on the 18th and the 19th without results. It was thought that the missing component would turn up in the packing/unpacking of the PDCA for the installation of the new floors – but no, it was not to be. The YELLOW SQUARE (CHEESE) COMPONENT to our Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Learning Pots & Pans has officially been declared “lost at sea”.



The 5th report, and most recent, of a lost small part occurred the latter part of last week. It was hoped that this most recent missing part would have turned up in the weekend’s deep cleaning – but the search party (Marty) came up emptied handed again. The TRIANGULAR TASTY TREAT COMPONENT (Pink icing) to our Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Pretty Please Tea Set is gone – disappeared – eaten maybe? A reward is offered (a hug & a kiss) if you find this missing treat and return it to its Pretty Please Tea Pot Platter.

Current plans are on hold to add the Laugh & Learn Learning Letters Mailbox, Laugh & Learn Learning Toolbench, Laugh & Learn Sing-With-Me CD Player, and other smaller Laugh & Learn toys until such time as paranormal circumstance can be ruled out (and the budget allows). No small animals were hurt, nor children neglected, in the process of creating this post.

1 comment:

Thanks for checking in. said...

The TRIANGULAR TASTY TREAT COMPONENT was recovered within 30 minutes of this post! It was "inclusively" picked up and stored away in our 100 Colourful Building Blocks bucket!